Tuesday, September 28, 2004
what is there now?
BADMINTON!!!! the latest thing that's making me enthu. the sad part is all the courts are constantly booked. shit. sian to the max. need to find more interesting stuff to do. gym's a bit boring lah. haha. but i love going with del and jess. they just crack me up all the time. going to work in a moment or so... today's mid autumn festival, it's gonna be beautiful tonight.
gwen blogged at 4:00 PM
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
school life?
was talking to helen with angela this afternoon. how odd things have become. we have no longer the drive to do work, and it's not because of unfamiliarity, it's not because of confusion, not of procrastination of the usual kind. it's just for no reason in particular. for angel;a and i it's definately because of the lack of boring holidays which caused the lack of anticipation of school term to start. we just drag on like that, not doing our work, yet, at the same time, not resting because there's no way we can rest in the face of crushing stress. we are caught, like a taut rubberband, we cannot let go, or the process of it will slap us in the face. yet we can't stretch any further, or we'll snap. either way, it's gonna hurt. so here we are, trying to balance delicately in between until either one happens. our skin braced to feel the sting to come.
gwen blogged at 12:28 AM
Monday, September 20, 2004
going on.
ever had this shadow over you when you've climbed out of a deep pit? you're out, all right, the sky is blue the ground is firm. there actually is nothing to fear. but you keep looking back and you keep watching the ground to make sure it's still there for you. i'm like that. i've slightly tripped over slight unevenness of the ground, but i'm still fine. my heart is still thumping away but it wont last. hope i can carry on walking like evryone else, with my head up high.
gwen blogged at 10:40 PM
Saturday, September 18, 2004
numb and blind.
his love for me is a show whereby all have a grand seat of view... whereby i am declined, my name on the blacklist.
i feel so trashy... i know im being loved. but i dont see, i cant taste. it's like the matrix. i'm in it, cant see the truth, because im not priviledged to know. i'm no neo or trinity, but i wish, i wish i could be any wallflower just to have a taste, of what the truth is. i need to feel.
gwen blogged at 1:37 AM
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Sunny days?
yep... things are looking up for me alright... i am rather off balance still
can be finetuned. so as long
someone stays by me, things will be a-okay.... ") my weird tweaky smile. missed it. but now it's back in operation.... i worry like crazy when im alone but when im with him(and if he gives mem attention) i'm smiling away like an idiot. well but someone's not too bright... thimmks that i'm purchasing something on ebay now. haha. i just spent a big chunk of my money to fix a HUMOUNGOUS lunch for two that turned out to be good as dinner for five. haha. maybe i should be a housewife. oh. but i need a maid to assist me cos
gwen doesn't clean. haha. enough of my nonsense.
gwen blogged at 10:40 PM
Monday, September 13, 2004
Schizophrenic.
i blindfolded myself.
i try to grasp you,
but i could swear i felt you run to someone else.
i hope you would be there when i fall.
or be with me when i try to keep standing.
dont go help her.
im not trying to be cruel.
im just trying to stay sane.
gwen blogged at 2:01 AM
Saturday, September 11, 2004
clear?
everyone hiding behind,
can't help but realise.
they elude me, ostrasize me.
accusing me of change
not knowing they had already changed color.
i fall to the ground,
motionless.
i won't have to run,
for you have already slipped away.
leaving me,
in a lonely game of hide and seek.
waiting to be found,
but you gave me up,
for one who was available in the open.
old scenes of laughter,
when you found i was only beside.
now fading,
i'm still waiting,
hiding.
hiding from the new you.
i don't want to found like that.
i don't like this you.
i only want the real.
the bare, true you.
gwen blogged at 4:03 AM
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
flamers.
wow. i'm amazed by certain people who flame other people's blog for nothing. they don't even know those people and they think that by trying to make them look bad, they're heroes. they really have to try better. i've reached to a conclusion that these people simply have no lives and create a fake one by pretending that they know alot and trash other people on their territories. i mean if you want to express your extensive vocabulary then go write a book or something. don't be lame and look like a clown who thinks he/she is brave and objective. these people
have to grow up. i guess that's something remotely familiar to these people. maturity. so they should just take their fancy big words which are most probably fresh out of their thesaurus and their lousy sarcasm out of our tag boards, because that's definitely no place people can find lives. enough said. and enough of being upset about crappy people being anal about my friend's expressions of themselves.
they do that because they cannot speak for themselves, thus they trash people who do.
gwen blogged at 1:56 AM
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
tired.
the eighteen kilo charcoal lifting is showing it's strain by inflicting a horrible dull ache in my shoulder muscles. am i aging? with my nineteenth birthday over for a week or two... im finding myself aging rapidly. in no time i'll be hunchbacked, toothless and depending on other people to help me cross roads. haha ok guilty of exaggerating. but seriously. im not what i used to be. have to shape up ah.
gwen blogged at 2:24 AM
Sunday, September 05, 2004
Scrape me off the floor.
Crappy day at work... a stupid money paying bitch irritating us at work. excerpt from lionel "if i not wearing this beacon shirt then i immediately give finger already ah! say me nevermind know... say my eduction my family!!!"*with plenty of wild gesticulations in between*
our five dollars per hour are really hard earned. hahaha i think im not as weak as i thought. went to buy eighteen kgs of charcoal for that unappreciative customer's barbaque.... alone. i looked crappy struggling with bags of charcoal and food. thank God for cabs.
i broke plates, spilled my entire spaghetti bolognaise on the floor, fell matrix style, again. luckily the day had already come to an end.
so now hungry, tired and grouchy... i'll try to learn how to handle this blog thingy then go to sleep so that i can wake up a few hours later. but once again, thanks ben, for helping me set up this thing and teaching a computer idiot to do this. haha.
gwen blogged at 4:56 AM
Thursday, September 02, 2004
Day one. Darkness and light.
ok. i've been convinced by ben to start a blog. after a long time of watching certain replayed portions of what others reveal on their blogs, i'm to start my own. this is just so
1) people know i'm not dead when they can't contact me
2) they can read about my nonsensical nonstop patter of gibberish so they can laugh at my irationality.
i'm just kidding. but i guess it's an outlet of emptying my head which is ever so often cramped up with rubbish.
ok here's a thanks to mr benjamin low for being so kind to helping start this thing up after his nudge to prompt me(put subtly) to start a blog.
hmm... i don't really know what else i should be saying since my eyebags are almost touching the floor thanks to my screwed up sleeping habits which i just can't seem to throw back to a normal lifestyle. any old family secrets as to helping me are all welcome. please.
so much for my first entry. i'm going back to cracking my now hollow head to continue with my report for hospi and tourism. obviously something i know nuts about. wish me luck.
gwen blogged at 3:08 AM